Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Haaaaaaaaaaaasek

Ladies and gentlemen, we have our Stanley Cup Final matchup as the Ducks take out the Red Wings in six - and with the exit of the Red Wings, I feel it is appropriate to offer this fitting tribute to craggy ol' leatherface himself, Dominik Hasek.

What is it about this guy that just makes me want to hurt someone? Could it be the horrifying stickhandling? What about the extra fluorish and jazz hands he adds to standard saves? Maybe it's the whining and yapping...or maybe I'm still bitter about that blocker toss at Peter Bondra all those years ago.

Whatever it is, this mutant strain of human who evolved with no spine gets far too many accolades for what I feel is sheer dumb luck. Sure, he makes the occasional sparkling stop, flashes the leather to get the crowd all excited, risks dislocating a hip with his cross-crease dives. But come on, the other 95% of the time he doesn't even see the puck. He just does his insane snow angel, flopping around in the crease like a trout, praying that the puck just finds him.

Good plan. Wonder how it will look from the golf course.

Don't believe me? Check out footage of the second and third goals scored by Anaheim tonight (and this is not to take away from what was a terrific game by the Ducks). He lies down long before the play has stopped and merely waves his glove helplessly at the spot where he hopes the puck is - meanwhile a sneaky Anaheim player has retrieved the puck and calmly skated it around the flailing limbs.

It's reminiscent of something, I just can't put my finger on it...what could it be...hmm...


Yup, that's it. Creepy, eh?

Sayonara, Dom. Can't say I'll miss seeing your leathery face in the Finals.

(By the way, this post serves as further proof that I should not attempt lucid thought or unbiased posting when operating on minimal sleep. My wholehearted apologies to fans of Peni-, er, Hasek.)

2 comments:

Steph said...

I just want you to know that the Detroit News for some inexplicable reason saw fit to run a picture of him in the lockerroom wearing but a couple towels.

It was something I could have done without for the entire rest of my life and then some.

(I'm still staring in awe at the similarities between those pictures, by the way.)

Victor said...

Hmmm...wonder how many clips are out there of dogs rolling around in something stinky? Because Hasek clips mixed with dog-rolling clips to "Who let the dogs out?" would be cool.

Guess I should start looking for some or something.