So everyone knows about Daniel Briere's rapid rise to fame, sure. But do you know the real story? Read on...
Once upon a time, in a far away land, a lonely little boy named Daniel lived on the edge of a vast and powerful kingdom. He dreamed of riches and grandeur, power and wealth beyond compare, and a silver cup with his name on it.
Hours each day would be spent staring out the window just waiting for something good to happen. He only had his dreams, as Daniel was lonely and had no friends. He was smaller than the other boys at school and often became the butt of their jokes - or else was used in place of the ball in their many games. At five years old he only came up to the seat of his chair; by the age of ten he could barely reach the doorknob.
"I'll be great someday and then you'll be sorry," he would say to the boys as they tossed him around the field. They simply laughed and continued on their merry way.
At home it wasn't much better. Too small to help out around the house like normal kids, Daniel would be used as a dust rag or a sponge to get into those hard to reach places under the furniture.
"I'll be great someday and then you'll be sorry," he would say to his mother in between sneezes. She simply laughed and shoved him under the couch.
"They'll see," he would mutter to himself as he sat alone in his room. "They'll all see. Someday I'll do great things and be beloved by everyone. Then they'll be sorry." Even the dog laughed.
One day, as he was brushing the dust from his hair, Daniel decided he'd had enough. Packing up a few precious possessions he set off during the night to start a new life elsewhere, away from the taunting. He swore that he would teach himself great things and when he finally returned he would be both feared and beloved by all.
He crossed hills and valleys, through forests and across meadows until he reached a vast desert. There he worked tirelessly on what he believed could be his magic, his craft, the key to his success. Taking a piece of curved wood he practiced his technique day after day, perfecting and mastering a form of battle which no one had seen or used before.
Finally he decided he was ready - all he needed was a quest. His opportunity presented itself when he encountered a wandering merchant who told him of a great treasure that lay hidden in the hills. It was rumored to be quite the fortune, but it was guarded by a fearsome dragon.
"I am not afraid of a dragon," he told himself, and off he went.
Days and nights he walked until he reached the fabled hills. Spotting the puffs of smoke from miles away, little Daniel began to shake with fear. He was not a brave boy, he realized. All the bluster about defeating the dragon and capturing the treasure had sounded great at the time; but now suddenly his magical weapon felt heavy and leaden in his hand, his palms sweating at the prospect of facing an evil foe a thousand times his size.
He pushed on, though, determined to get the treasure or die trying...although he really didn't want to die trying. When at last Daniel reached the dragon's lair he took a deep breath, smoothed back his greasy hair, and advanced on the great beast waving the stick around in the air. It was not the technique he had practiced, though, and the dragon merely snorted with laughter - the gust from its great nostrils was enough to propel Daniel back into the forest and the dragon curled up and went back to sleep.
The next day Daniel tried again, this time flinging the stick high above his head in an attempt to hit the dragon in the head and blind it. Poor Daniel was too tiny, though, and it only struck the elbow of the great beast. Once more the dragon's laughter sent Daniel flying through the air and he landed in an embarrassed heap amid the trees, ego and rear end bruised.
When the third day rolled around Daniel decided this would be it. He would either take the treasure or slink back home a loser once more. Steeling himself for battle, he finally remembered the techniques he had taught himself over those long hot months in the desert. With his jaw set and the stick held straight in front of him, Daniel charged wildly at the dragon - right into its groin. The beast let out a great roar and flew into the air, flapping its wings wildly and flying off to rest its sore bits.
At last the treasure was his, and with a girlish squeal Daniel gathered up the gold and precious gems, eager to start his new life. Returning home he quickly raised an army with his newfound wealth, took over the kingdom whose borders he had once longingly gazed at, and pronounced himself king. He wore only orange and black to both blind his enemies and cause fear among his followers; in honor of the great beast whose special area had been stabbed to gain his wealth, Daniel painted a wing on his chest. The new kingdom was named Philadelphia, and Daniel ruled over it happily...
...until the dragon returned, set on revenge, and ate Daniel as a midday snack. He never did get his silver cup.
The moral of the story is this: Spearing someone in the cup...won't bring you a Cup.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
The True Story of Daniel Briere
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
Meet...Daniel Briere
Playoff series are a great way to get to know another team - but it's always fun to do a little scouting ahead of time, isn't it? We'll start with none other than the magical spearing midget himself, Daniel Briere.
Name: Daniel Briere
Born: October 6, 1977
From: Gatineau, PQ
Height: 5'10" (...uh-huh. Sure.)
Weight: 181 lbs
Position: Center
Career with Philadelphia: Signed as a ridiculously overpaid free agent on July 1; currently serving out an 8-year, $52 million sentence contract with a no-trade clause
2007-08 Season: 79 games played; 31-41-72, 68 PIM, -22
Caps Connection: The "Incident"...
Greatest accomplishments: Winning the 2007 NHL All-Star Game MVP; convincing Gepetto that he was a real live boy
Hobbies: big game hunting, jabbing a stick into the midsections of unsuspecting passersby, knitting little woolen booties for himself
Favorite Movies: The Wizard of Oz; Rudy; The Station Agent
Other Fun Facts: Once spray-painted himself orange, dyed his hair green and danced around the locker room as an Oompa Loompa to cheer up his team after a loss
Thursday, November 01, 2007
MSG Curse Continues/Mini Gameday Preview: Caps vs Flyers
The Caps shouldn't come away from this game with many regrets - they outplayed the Rangers for most of the night and really just had the misfortune of coming up against a very talented goalie on a hot streak.
But eventually they need to start winning the games they deserve to win. Eventually the bounces have to go their way. Because there is too much talent and too much potential on this team for them to be losing these games where they are the better team on the ice. It just can't continue.
Some thoughts:
- Boyd Gordon looks great on that top line. He, Ovechkin and Kozlov were really the best players on the ice and it was just a matter of the finish - getting the puck up and over the goalie's pads is going to have to be job one.
- Fleischmann had a very weird game in my mind. He would get pushed off the puck easily or fall down or turn over the puck or do something else "Flash-like"...and then I would make a snarky comment and he would respond by doing something marginally good. Its not me, though, I swear. I've been making snarky comments about him all season.
- Is it just me or did Sutherby look like he was on the verge of tears in that second intermission interview? He seems very frustrated...you can't help but feel for him.
- Speaking of Sutherby, he and Bradley were throwing the body around all night. I was very impressed. Kind of makes you want to bring Clymer back, doesn't it? A little CBS line reunion, no? Must just be me.
- I doubt I'm alone in having held my breath when Olie went down. Damn Chris Drury.
- The power play, while obviously not yielding any strikes, looked pretty impressive in the few opportunities in which it appeared.
- What...is with...the second period?? I don't get it. I just don't.
All we can do is hope that the Caps return home with heads held high and don't change too much. They play a very tough Flyers team that is nearing the end of a long road swing and that incidentally got beat 5-2 by my Habs. After starting the season 6-1, the Flyers have cooled off a bit and have dropped three of their last four.
Things don't get much easier for Philly, either, as they continue their eight game road trip with three divisional matchups after meeting the Caps tomorrow night. Biron took the loss tonight and the Caps will probably see Niitymaaki tomorrow - hopefully they can catch Philly looking past them and get two much needed points at home before another losing streak can start.
I had the chance to catch up with one of the friendly Flyers upon his arrival in DC and he agreed to sit down for a little chat before the game.
CC: Daniel, thanks for...er...Daniel? Mr. Briere? Are you here?
DB: It's Danny.
CC: Hang on, I think I hear a high, squeaky sound. Is that...Daniel, is that you?
DB: [yelling] It's Danny.
CC: Oh, there you are, Daniel. I didn't see you down there. Do you need a booster seat?
DB: No, I'm fine. And it's DANNY!
CC: Danny? Okay, fine, Danny. Tell me, Danny, how are you liking Philly so far?
DB: It's great because orange and black make me look taller. Don't you think I look taller?
CC: ...sure. Sure you do. But what about the hockey part, how are you enjoying playing for the Flyers?
DB: I'm really enjoying it. There are a lot of short guys in the Atlantic Division, I feel much bigger.
CC: That's...important, I guess. It's nice that you can feel a bit more like a man. Danny, in the last few years you've developed an interesting reputation among the fans in the league. What's your response when people say you're a whiner, a diver, or a compulsive spearer?
DB: They say that?
CC: Well, a few people hav- OW! Did you just spear me??
DB: ...no.
CC: You did, you just jammed your stick into my stomach!
DB: Liar. Quit being so mean to me.
CC: OW! You did it again! That's it, we're done here. Good luck with Brashear out there, Daniel.
DB: It's DANNY! DANNY DANNY DANNY! [swinging a hockey stick around] Who wants a piece of me, huh? Huh? Come on, let's go!
CC: Security!!
[Cheap Seats security moves in and flicks Briere across the room, his tiny arms and legs flailing helplessly as he soars through the air and into the fish tank]
CC: Oops. Watch out for the goldfish, he bites.
Friday, September 28, 2007
Little Briere No Match for Big Ovechkin
There was a point tonight where the game definitely felt like a preseason game. There was a point when it seemed the Caps had reverted back to old habits and the game would be over before the third period began.
But then Alex Ovechkin took matters into his own hands.
He decided that tonight was not going to end that way, in a disappointing loss with little struggle. He wasn't about to let Daniel Briere and the Flyers run over the Caps without a little bit of a fight. And he was going to take the rest of the team with him.
There was a good sized crowd on hand, complete with a smattering of orange and black, to witness one of the more amazing third period comebacks in recent days. The Caps limped into the final frame down 4-2 and looking like they were sleep walking. At even strength they controlled the play but not with the enthusiasm and spark you need. Throw in a pretty decent performance by Niitymaki, two power play goals allowed and a shorthanded heartbreaker and you might as well call it a night. No way could they win this thing.
Strangely enough it was a Flyers goal that seemed to spark the comeback, though. Simon Gagne made it 5-2 early in the third period and it was suddenly as though every player on the Caps bench, led by #8, decideed to wake up.
First came Pettinger's goal to close the gap to two again, a pretty play that saw him driving the net and just finessing the puck past the goalie. The crowd started buzzing.
Then it was all Alex and Viktor Kozlov, who had a very strong game in his own right even before the comeback. Less than 30 seconds after Pettinger's goal Ovie set up shop behind the net and dished the puck with one hand out to a waiting Kozlov, who buried it. 5-4.
Now we've got ourselves a game. We start thinking maybe they'll force overtime. Overtime after being down by three would be fantastic, even if they ended up falling in the extra frame. It looked like it was heading that way, as with less than three minutes left in the game Ovechkin scores...he certainly has a flair for the dramatic, doesn't he? Assists to Kozlov and Nylander, 5-5.
But no one wanted to go to overtime, or (god forbid) the dreaded shootout. This was going to end now, and a minute later as the in-house announcer was still announcing the tying goal, Fleischmann got the puck in the slot (from, yes, Ovie and Kozlov) and absolutely rifled it past Niitymaki. A crowd of just over 10,000 people has never sounded so loud.
Throw in an empty-netter by Steckel thanks to a clean faceoff win by Boyd Gordon and that was it. Game, set, match, 7-5.
Let's not get ahead of ourselves - there were certainly problems tonight. Falling behind 5-2 is never good. Sludging through two periods of work is never good. Giving up two power play goals on only four chances is never good.
Oh, and letting bitty Briere run around without a leash will not be tolerated come October. Two goals and an assist? I don't think so. Not okay.
But the fact that they fell behind in such a way and then not only clawed their way back into the game but finished it off in regulation is a sign that things are starting to change. Before the Caps would fall behind and make a valiant effort through plain scrappy, feisty work to stay in until the final buzzer but would usually fall just short. You add skill, though, and it's amazing what happens. I think my jaw was on the floor from about the halfway mark of the third period on.
Great performances by Ovechkin and Kozlov, and pretty decent showings from Gordon, Pettinger and Steckel who is making it harder and harder for us to send him back to Hershey. I also thought Olie had a really good game and shouldn't be blamed for much, although there was maybe one goal he would want back when all is said and done. He kept them in the game when it was 5-2 and gave them a chance, making a series of great saves and showing off that Zilla form that frankly has been missing from this preseason.
Defense...was bad. On both sides. Green looked good, Pothier continues to surprise me, but overall when you allow 12 goals total there's no one on the blue line that doesn't share the blame.
Oddly enough what I found most heartening about this game wasn't the come from behind victory or Ovechkin reminding us that he is Ovechkin, superstar, superman, etc. It was the fans that showed up.
It wasn't a sellout or anywhere near it, but there were a lot of people in the seats (eventually) cheering their hearts out. Flyers fans didn't outnumber the Caps fans; there was significantly more red white and blue than the hated orange and black, and when Philly scored the roof didn't feel like it was going to burst off. A small change, subtle really, but to this veteran of many a Flyers game it was nice to see.
Caps now improve to 0-0-0 on the season. One more preseason game to go Sunday and then we're off!
Mark Your Calendars, Set Your Watches
There's a lot of good stuff about today.
First of all it's Friday, so that instantly makes the day better.
Secondly, there's hockey tonight. That instantly makes the day a lot better.
But the best part about today is this: sometime around the end of the first period we will be exactly one week away from the start of the Capitals 2007-08 campaign. Things are starting to take shape and even if you can't see the results on the preseason "standings" (and what exactly are preseason standings, anyways? Top 16 teams get to go to the regular season?) the evidence is out there on the ice.
We're all counting down the minutes until hockey is blissfully returned to us in its normal state once more. But don't rush ahead too quickly - there's plenty of activity going on over the next week to keep our idle minds at least somewhat occupied.
- We start tonight with the Caps-Flyers rematch. Wednesday's game was a pretty chippy affair, owing partially to the fact that the Caps had Brash, Clymer, Sutherby, Bradley and Erskine in the lineup but also to the fact that apparently the Flyers are back to emphasizing brain over brawn. Don't forget, they did pick up bitty Briere...I think we're dealing with a classic case of overcompensation (although I'd prefer it if they just shoved a sock down there). The Caps lost by just one goal and by all accounts were in this until the end - and that's with our "B" team.
Anyways, preseason or no we may have a fiery game on our hands tonight, a far cry from the passionless exhibitions we're usually treated to this time of year. On top of that you've got a few guys still fighting for jobs on both teams, although from the lineup it doesn't look like most of the Caps' cusp boys will be there save for Laich and Steckel. Take that as you will.
Suiting up for the good guys will be as follows, although lines and pairings are subject to change:
Morrisonn - Jurcina
Bourque was sent down today and it appears that Boumedienne, Pollock and Motzko are also on the cut list, although nothing has been confirmed. If you read between the lines that leaves us with the 12 forwards dressed, Clymer, Sutherby and Bradley (and Fehr, but...yeesh) up front. Steckel continues to make a somewhat late case for a roster spot, so it'll be interesting to see who ends up on the outside should that happen.
Conventional wisdom would say Sutherby is the odd man out in that case, but Sutsy's put together a great camp in his own right and the organization still really loves him, so...yeah. Did I mention I wouldn't want GMGM's job right now?
On the blue line we have the 6 D plus Eminger and Erskine, and I'd expect Schultzie to head back to Hershey as soon as the final horn blows on Sunday if not sooner. Tarik is saying that Eminger has pretty much locked up one of the final slots, which I'm thrilled about but I'm sure others will have a little whiny time over the news. Have at it, folks - he's on a one year deal, if he doesn't make it happen by December I say he's on the block.
Moving on...
- Sunday the Caps host the Ottawa Senators to finish out their preseason schedule, at which point the roster should be pretty much set. Don't forget if you have a ticket from a DC United game, past or future, bring it to Verizon Center on Sunday and get a free ticket to the game.
- The Caps Care Classic will be held Monday, October 1 out at Springfield Golf and Country Club in Springfield, VA. That same day at noon is the deadline for players to be placed on waivers if they are to be reassigned...nothing like a golf tournament with an air of tension and anticipation about it, right?
- Monday night Comcast Sportsnet kicks off their groundbreaking hockey coverage with three straight hours dedicated to the Caps. Have the DVRs and the smelling salts ready, it should at least be entertaining.
- The following day, 3:00 p.m., the final 23-man opening night roster must be finalized and submitted to the league office. Cue scary music...here.
- Check out night two of CSN hockeylove on Tuesday with another rousing edition of Caps Classics (which have all the potential of being highly disappointing but there's no way I'm missing them).
- You get a few days of breathing room for the rest of the week as the rosters are finalized, training camp is over and no one is talking about hockey. All that leading up to the main event when the Caps travel to Atlanta to take on the dreaded Thrashers in the season opener Friday night, 7:30 on Comcast.
- And then it arrives!! Opening day, October 6th - Caps host the Hurricanes (which ended pretty well for the Caps last year if you recall). Be sure to get there early for all the home opener events...which...I'm not sure about other than the fact that a new opening video will premiere. It never hurts to be downtown early on a Saturday, though, does it? Take in the sights, laugh at the tourists, dodge the crazy screaming man on the corner...ah, I love this city.
Don't forget if you're heading out to Verizon tonight to grab that camera and snap some pictures - I'll post as many as I get, so keep 'em coming. Oh, and extra brownie points if someone catches one of the following on film:
