The 400th post. Wow. Only my close friends and family knew I could talk about nothing 400 times straight, and now you all do too. So in recognition of this momentous occasion I figured I should talk about something important and relevant.
The Hershey Bears coming within one win of the Calder Cup Finals? The Stanley Cup Finals between the Ottawa Senators and Anaheim Ducks? Brian Leetch's retirement?
What about...the top ten reasons I hate Sidney Crosby? Yes!
Hey, if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Besides, with the Pens long gone from the playoffs I haven't gotten to pick on them for a while and frankly I'm getting a little restless waiting for preseason to roll around. h/t to Amanda for the idea
#10 The lips - Oh, the lips. Where to begin. I don't know if he's plastering on the lipstick or if he just enjoys a nice cherry kool-aid before every game, but those things are not natural. Let's just say I know Hollywood actresses who would pay thousands of bucks for that collagen-enhanced look...
#9 Secondary assists - It's all well and good to pick up 120 points and win the scoring trophy at 19, blah blah blah...when 99% of them are secondary assists, is it really such a great achievement? (Okay, so maybe it's not 99%, I didn't really do the math.)
#8 Whining - Every call is wrong, every hit a penalty. At least if you follow the gospel according to Sidney. The good thing is, he lets us know when he's unhappy. Really, Sid? You disagree? No kidding.
#7 The hype - Unless you've been living under a rock for the last two years, you know that Crosby was the #1 pick in 2005 and has been pegged as the next Wayne Gretzky since Gretzky was playing in LA. That's worthy of some attention, sure, but we have a stellar superstar of our own here in the District who gets overlooked because of it.
# 5 Inability to grow facial hair - It's a time-honored tradition for hockey players to grow a playoff beard, so there's something annoying in seeing that face smooth as a baby's butt during the Penguins' brief postseason excursion. I guess it's not his fault - once he hits puberty that peach fuzz will really start to come in...
#4 Living situation - Am I the only one who finds it weird that this 19-year-old (almost 20-year-old) millionaire still lives with Mario Lemieux? Cut the apron strings, Sid, time to spring for that bachelor pad. Put it this way - entertaining that special someone can't be easy with Mario's little rugrats running around...
#3 Diving - Sure, he cut back on it this year but I'm not ready to remove the Canadian Diving Team moniker from his name just yet.
#2 Too polished - Part of the problem with being bred for greatness is that everything that comes out of your mouth is so practiced, so polished, so rehearsed that it's downright snoozetastic. He's like a robot - no improvs, no goofy quotes, no jokes, no 'Ovechkinisms'
...which brings us to #1...
#1 He’s not Alex Ovechkin - Please. Need I say more?