Nickname Contest #3 / Gameday Preview: Caps vs. Canes

I’m so proud. Really. You all rose to the challenge and made up for the Jeff Schultz debacle with some great nicknames...so there’s only one thing to do. I’m proud to present the first (and probably last) AVFTCS Awards!

Most Popular Nickname:
Ben "Clymer? I Don't Even Know 'er!" (at least 7 by my count)

Second Most Popular Nickname:
Ben “I’d Rather Be Golfing” Clymer (and other variations)

Best Use of an Anagram Program:
Biff - Ben "Reel My NBC" Clymer

Most Optimistic Nickname:
Joel - Ben “I'll Be Better Next Year” Clymer

Best Nickname from Someone Who Hates Nicknames:
Biff - Ben “The Messenger” Clymer
[Two awards...does this keep me off the Whipping Post©?]

Best Groin-Related Joke...and Best Blatant Disregard for the Rule of No Groin-Related Jokes:
Shelby - Ben "At Least I Can't Have Any -17 Children" Clymer

Best (Worst?) Pun:
My father - Ben “Sisyphus” Clymer
Why, you ask? Because he’s “Ben Clymer” up and down that mountain his whole life (drum fill)

...these are the genes I’m working with, folks. Explains a lot, doesn’t it?

But in the end there could be only one winner.

NICKNAME CONTEST #3 CHAMPION:

Beth - Ben “Contagious” Clymer

Ah, memories. We all of course remember that lovely gut-wrenching disease (literally) that was unleashed by Clymes on his unsuspecting teammates after the holidays. Extra special bonus points to Benny for then passing this superfun bug on to the Habs as well, on which I choose to blame their rapid fall from the standings ladder.

It wins because if ever there was a perfect symbol for Ben’s disastrous season...it’s gotta be an illness that keeps you in, on and around the toilet.

Thank you, I’ll be here all week.

But on to the real fun: our final game against the Stanley Cup Champs (and possible history makers), the Carolina Hurricanes.

So why are they possible history makers? Well, the Oilers are out of the postseason. It's not the first time a finalist has missed the playoffs the next year – it actually happens quite a bit. BUT if the Canes should also fail to make the postseason, it would be the first time in NHL history that both finalists from the previous year missed the cut. That’s a dubious distinction if ever I heard one...and since my Habs are battling with Carolina for that final spot, I say bring on the history!

Meh. We’ll see which team shows up, right?

Just an aside, but I’ve pinpointed the #1 reason the Caps have to get better next year. It’s very simple. I’m so, so, SO tired of reading this kind of quote (courtesy of the 'Canes site): "If somebody can show me an easy game on the schedule, let me highlight it so I can take a breath and the players can take a breath," said Laviolette. "But the bottom line is, there aren't any. You've got to be ready to play no matter who it is."

Or this: "I think when you see a team that's out of the playoffs and trying to play a spoiler, they can take more chances," said Cory Stillman.

Doesn’t it feel like we’ve been hearing that kind of underhanded compliment forever? I want to hear our coach saying “no game is easy”. I want to hear our team saying things like “we can’t look past this team” or “they have nothing to lose and that makes them dangerous”. It’s coming soon, I can feel it – and I can’t wait.

[Wow, am I out of practice! These were harder than usual...]

Possible Lineup for the Caps
Forwards:
8-Alex “Spend, Teddy, Spend!” Ovechkin, 13-Jiri “Not Ready for Primetime” Novotny, 39-Alexandre “Rooster” Giroux
43-Tomas “Flash...of Brilliance” Fleischmann, 24-Kris “Miss” Beech, 28-Alexander “Backcheck? ME?” Semin
21-Brooks “Lovin’” Laich, 15-Boyd “Flash” Gordon, 17-Chris “Checking Line” Clark
87-Donald “Hot (and Bruised) Hands” Brashear, 10-Matt “Benchwarmer” Bradley, 27-Ben “Contagious” Clymer

Defensemen:
23-Milan “The Beast” Jurcina, 26-Shaone “With a Rebel Yell, Mo’ Mo’ Mo’” Morrisonn
2-Brian “Turnover” Pothier, 55-Jeff “Peanut” Schultz
44-Steve “Zubie Is Mean” Eminger, 52-Mike “Send Me Back to Hershey” Green

Goaltenders:
1-Brent “Always a Backup, Never a Bride” Johnson, 37-Olie “Raycroft” Kolzig

Possible Lineup for the Canes
Forwards:
13-Ray “Former Oilers Stick Boy” Whitney, 17-Rod “Beauty Queen” Brind’amour, 11-Justin “Case” Williams
61-Cory “The Next Tim Taylor” Stillman, 12-Eric “Pillow Fight!” Staal, 26-Erik “Old King” Cole
16-Andrew “Cheryl” Ladd, 59-Chad “The War of” LaRose, 24-Scott “Johnny” Walker
77-Anson “Journeyman Defined” Carter, 63-Josef Vasicek, 27-Craig “Gomez” Adams

Defensemen:
2-Glen “the Human Bruise” Wesley, 22-Mike “Bathrobe Boy” Commodore
7-Niclas “Off the” Wallin, 8-Tim “Knee-Boy” Gleason
5- Frantisek “Taxi” Kaberle, 45-David Tanabe “Knees”

Goaltenders:
30-Cam “Beanpole” Ward (day-to-day with a leg boo-boo), 47-John Grahame “Cracker”, 50-Craig “Stanley” Kowalski

Honestly, nothing would make me happier right now than the ultimate spoiler performance by the Caps. A loss by the Canes and a win by the Habs, and suddenly that three team pileup around 8th place becomes a whole different race. GO CAPS!

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Gameday Preview: Caps vs. Sabres

Pop Quiz: What is the scariest sabre?

Nope, not really. Actually kind of cute.

Scarier with our current president, but no.

Any owner of the exact replica is much scarier.


It would be scary if it still existed.
Extinction tends to take the edge off.

That pesky beheading potential lends a certain amount of scariness to this. But that's not it...

Brace yourselves...

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
It's Z-ZUBIE THE BUFFASLUG!

Now that's terrifying. *Shudders*

Anyways.

So I have a sneaking suspicion that, back when I actually used to put work into these previews, no one read anything but the nicknames. That may be because I don’t say much worth reading...but who knows. Still, since there are no nicknames (give me a break, I’ve done about 60 of these – how many times can I make the same tired Daniel “Crackers and” Briere joke??) I’m thinking I need some incentive to get people to keep reading.

Whether it’s true or not, it gave me an idea – this is a little game called “how perceptive are you?” In the following preview I’ve hidden the name of a Washington Capital. Find it, e-mail me, and win a fabulous prize.

Actually no, I’m broke. You’ll win a cookie.

Okay, a picture of a cookie.

Er, an e-mail with the word ‘cookie’ in the body.

You know what, you greedy people? Your prize will be pride. There we go. Be like the Caps and play for pride alone. It’s fun!

Here we go...

- Buffalo comes into this game with a tenuous hold on first place in the Eastern Conference, leading the Devils by just 5 points. They’ve also dropped five of their last seven games, including three straight at home.

- Even without Ovechkin scoring in the last two games, the Caps’ offense has been clicking like crazy, outscoring their opponents 12-2 overall. Not only that but they’ve jumped out to the lead in their last three games, outscoring their opponents 6-0 in just the first twenty minutes. Their record over those three? 2-0-1. Now that's just craziness. You mean taking a lead early gives you a better chance of winning?? Do all the teams know about this?

- No offense to Zubie, but I’d love to see someone just knock him on his rear early on in the game. It’s really for my own therapeutic needs (and god knows I need as much therapy as possible) because in my crazy, twisted mind it will solidify him as the enemy and I won't weep everytime I see him. Grrr.

- Creaming Toronto 5-1 was a good start. A 7-1 win over Tampa was also good. But taking on a Buffalo team that remains very tough despite their recent struggles is a whole different challenge. Save for one bad period against the Sabres, though, the Caps have really held their own against high-flying Buffalo, so this should be a good one.

- Look for Semin and Fleischmann to remain on the same line, centered by a slightly improved Kris Beech. It’s hard to argue with the performance those two put on Sunday afternoon, isn’t it?

- You may remember this little incident between Ovechkin and Briere that has marred the last two meetings. It got a few headlines, nothing too major. Anyways the two guys at the center of the storm have had to play together at the All-Star Game since and appear to have buried the hatchet; still, I doubt the fans in Buffalo are about to forgive Ovie quite so quickly. I’d expect a few boos for our little Alex – he seems to thrive on it, though, so maybe he’ll snap his mini-drought.

- Martin Biron was shipped off to bottom-feeding Philly at the deadline and Conklin already got his token game during the final stretch, so I’d expect to see Miller between the pipes. As for the Caps – it’s gotta be Olie. You don’t mess with a hot goalie, and he’s been phenomenal since coming back from injury.

- Each team has scored ten goals against the other over the last two games between the Caps and Sabres. However...that was before the Age of Jurcina. Bring on Le Petit Briere. (I am, however, picturing 2 shots on goal by Zubie. And 15 missed shots.)

- Road wins have proven to be hard to get for the Caps lately, whose woes away from Verizon Center suddenly ramped up after a surprisingly good start to the season. They come into Buffalo seeking just their 11th road win, their 10 so far putting them one ahead of last place buddies Florida and Calgary and even with LA.

Did you find it?

Here’s a hint...have you submitted your nickname yet? Just 12 hours to go before the deadline, get to brainstorming!

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Nickname Contest: Take 3

Your next assignment is:

Ben Clymer

All entries must be in by midnight on Wednesday, March 21st. E-mail your submissions to capsfan82 (at) hotmail (dot) com with the subject line "Clymer Nickname Contest". The winner will appear in the gameday preview for Thursday's game, the final meeting with the Stanley Cup Champs.

Good luck!

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That's Gotta Hurt

- Per the Washington Post, Ben Clymer wasn't benched in last night's game. That's the good news.

The bad news? He pulled a groin muscle. Ouch.

That's it, that's the final straw. I think we need to pack the entire team in a germ-free, shock-resistant layer of bubble wrap so that no one else gets hurt or sick from now until the end of the season. If they're going to lose all 11 remaining games, I want every single one of them in there to feel every gut-wrenching second. Let them bottle that frustration up and when next season rolls around take it out on all the teams who embarrassed them this year.

A Cheap Seats note: Please try to avoid any groin-related nicknames. We're keeping it clean, people...

- Here's a dubious distinction - the Caps have lost nine straight, their longest losing streak since 1981-82, when they dropped thirteen straight. That's not a record we need to see repeated, so let's see if they can't win one tonight...

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Caps-Leafs Gameday Special: Shocking Confessions

This final Leafs’ game seems as good a time as any to admit something that is very painful and traumatic to me. It’s something I’ve had to struggle with for many years since, and I can’t hold it in any longer.

I, dear friends...am a recovering Leafs fan.

I won’t blame you if you click away in disgust. It’s okay. But please, please let me explain myself before you judge me.

You see, this whole insanity started when the Caps acquired a young defenseman from the Hartford Whalers in the summer of 1991 by the name of Sylvain Cote. Now this may sound odd, but I LOVED Cote. Looking back I don’t really know why. Maybe it was because he wasn’t an obvious choice, my love of the underappreciated underdog continuing to this day. Maybe it was because of the way he used to skate with his tongue sticking out. Maybe it was simply because I had a little replica “jersey” t-shirt with his name on it, courtesy of the Junior Capitals Fan Club.

Whatever the reason, I became enamored with Sylvain, a sentiment that would span over a decade. I didn’t care that he had one, maybe two good seasons with the Caps. I didn’t care that the guys sitting around us at games regularly referred to him as “Sylvia”. I proudly wore my ‘Cote’ jersey, by then a real one, to every game. I held my head high as others laughed, taking particular delight in nudging me whenever Cote messed up. I didn’t care. I was sticking by Coco for better or for worse.


Then came that fateful day during the ’97-’98 season when Cote was traded away to Toronto. I was heartbroken. Sure, I had seen others come and go, so many players that I had grown to love and that I missed terribly. But Cote was the first one I had formed an attachment to, and I decided right then and there that my loyalty to him would not end just because he played for another team – I saw it as a technicality at best.

My dad, as you can imagine, was not thrilled.

So I started to follow Toronto. I got to know the players’ names and developed an affection for them that was only rivaled by my beloved Caps. I called Sundin “Sundini”...why, I have no idea, but to this day I call him that in my head, even while cursing him aloud. I had a bizarre fascination with Tie Domi, whom my father referred to as “Bullethead” just to annoy me. Steve Thomas, Sergei Berezin, Bryan Berard, Yanic Perreault and of course, CuJo – all remain among my all-time favorites to this day, and all because of a little underappreciated d-man from Quebec.

Cote’s tenure in TO was short-lived, lasting just over a season. I trotted right alongside him as he moved on to Chicago, then Dallas, then back to Toronto before making his triumphant return to DC for the final three years of his career. His return to the Caps coincided with my arrival in Montreal, thus ending for good my brief hiatus into LeafsNation and hearkening a return to sanity.

It’s funny, looking back now I don’t remember having any particular animosity towards Montreal, Ottawa, or any other Leafs’ rivals – that probably means I never got fully sucked in and am probably a better person for it. Still, I look back with fondness at my short time with the Leafs. They were a different team then; save for Sundin and more recently Yanic Perreault, everyone from those two years has either moved on to other teams or retired, so I feel I can eye the current roster disdainfully without being a total hypocrite.

And that’s my horrible confession. I hope you don’t judge me too harshly...

Damn, I hope they don't make me turn in my Canadiens flag.

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People, people, people. I'm so disappointed. Here I give you a golden opportunity to do something that frankly I haven't been able to do all year long, and that is to give Jeff Schultz a nickname. Judging by the entries to the first nickname contest, I was hoping for a bit more pizzazz, a bit more creativity, a bit more oomph.

Actually, I was just hoping for a bit more, period - the number of entries was paltry compared to last time. I'm so disappointed I'm not even going to do nicknames of my own. See what you've done? You've disappointed someone whose life, as a Caps fan, has been wrought with disappointment. I didn't think it was possible.

*Sigh* I guess I should pick a winner...there were actually some good ones (I'll refrain from pointing at and mocking the entries I didn't like) and after poring over the submissions I've decided it's a tie:

Winner #1: Cathy, with her entry of Jeff "The Calgary Tower" Schultz
and
Winner #2: Biff, with his somewhat reluctant entry (nicknames are fun, Biff, admit it!) of Jeff "Peanut" Schultz

[Incidentally, I had a handful of other entries that were very similar to these two, but the winners had a little extra something sprinkled in to set them apart. And if you don't like it...well, tough. The Emperess has spoken.]

Okay, just because I'm feeling beneficent, here's ONE nickname for the Caps-Leafs showdown: Darcy "Mother" Tucker. It just makes me laugh every time - it's good that I at least crack myself up, right?

I'm willing to give you all another try - not because I'm so giving and kind-hearted, but because frankly what the heck else are we going to do between now and the end of the season?

Your next assignment is:

Ben Clymer

I'm giving you a nice long cushion to come up with something spectacular - the deadline for entries is midnight on Wednesday, March 21. The winner will (hopefully) join my nicknames in the preview for the final meeting between the Caps and the Stanley Cup Champs on the 22nd. Again, and I can't stress this enough, CREATIVITY IS KEY. Don't let me down!

Oh, yeah - go Caps.

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Gameday Preview: Caps vs. Thrashers & NICKNAME CONTEST ROUND 2!!

Don't you hate those musicals where someone just bursts into song randomly? Well...sorry.

Every street is dark

And folding out mysteriously

Where lies the chance we take to be

Always working

Reaching out for a hand that we can't see

Everybody's got a hold on hope

It's the last thing that's holding me

Invitation to the last dance

Then it's time to leave

But that's the price we pay when we deceive

One another/animal mother

She opens up for free

Everybody's got a hold on hope

It's the last thing that's holding me

Look at the talkbox in mute frustration

At the station

There hides the cowboy

His campfire flickering on the landscape

That nothing grows on

But time still goes on

And through each life of misery

Everybody's got a hold on hope

It's the last thing that's holding me

"Hold on Hope" by Guided by Voices

So we're rounding the corner on the home stretch of the season and the next chapter of what has become an exciting rivalry goes down tonight. Is it too much to hope for that the Caps pull out a thrilling victory in their last nationally televised game when they face the evil Thrash?

Probably.

I'm still going to, though. Just for funsies.

Speaking of hope:

Sutsy, the hope of a new generation. That, or one of the few Caps who has played consistently well over the last few games. Hard to tell.

But the real story for tonight is not the Caps-Thrashers rematch. It's the Caps Blogger Happy Hour, Version 4.0! As they say, misery loves company, so bloggers and non-bloggers alike, come on down to the Grand Hyatt hotel at 1000 H St, NW in downtown DC. Game starts at 7:00 pm, drinking copiously to dull the pain starts at 7:02, so get there early. More details available as always at The Kevin Hatcher Fan Club
.

EXTRA EXTRA: Today also marks the beginning of a new nickname contest. That's right, you too can get 15 seconds of fame reaching dozens of readers by mocking others! A warning - this time around I'm making it a bit trickier, so get those thinking caps ready. About once a week or whenever I feel like it from now until the end of the season I will select a Caps player's name. All suggestions for that one lucky Caps player should be e-mailed to me by the date indicated, and the best one as determined again by me, the emperess of all things (yup, I got a promotion) will be featured in the next gameday preview.

This week's selection is:

Jeff Schultz

(Note: "Sgt." and "Charles" are not eligible - I've used them both and neither one is good...)

This week's entries must be e-mailed to capsfan82 at hotmail dot com before midnight on Thursday, March 15th and the winner will appear in the preview for Friday's home game against the Leafs. Nicknames can be based on a particular attribute of Schultz's game or just a play on his name. As always, creativity is key.

Good Luck!

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Gameday Preview: Caps vs. Rangers (+ Nickname Contest Champion Revealed!)

Longest blog post title ever...thank you, thank you!

Who: Your Nation’s Capitals vs. New York Rangers
Where: Verizon Center
601 F Street NW
Washington, DC 20004
When: Saturday, Feb 10, 7:00 pm

Broadcast Info: CSN, WTEM 980 AM; MSG, 1050 ESPN Radio

Media Notes:
WashingtonCaps.com
NewYorkRangers.com
NHL.com

Local media feeling the Jurcina-Love:
Washington Post
Washington Times

Rags-Bolts Recap:
New York Times

Slooooow Newspaper:
New York Post

Last Game: December 30 in New York, Caps lost 4-1
- Continuing their knack for snapping teams out of slumps, the Caps played victim to the Rangers as the blueshirts ended a season-long seven game losing streak. The Caps in the meantime continued a slump of their own, extending their losing streak to four.
- The Caps were haunted by some old friends on the scoreboard, as former Cap Michael Nylander had a goal and an assist and fellow former Cap and general jackass Jagr added an assist against their old club.
- With all the starpower, though, it would be a new face in Petr Prucha who would draw first and last blood against the Caps.
- Ben Clymer spoiled Lundqvist’s shutout bid with just under three minutes remaining, cutting the Rangers’ lead to three 8 seconds after Prucha made it 4-0.
- As has been the case for most of the season, specialty teams would tell the tale of the game for the Caps – this time not in the effectiveness of the other team but in their own ineffectiveness. The Caps were given 8 power plays and connected on exactly none of them, while the Rangers converted one of their five chances with the extra man.
- Numbers and goals aside, this game will likely be remembered more for the fireworks than anything else. The first period was fairly mild, but as the second period unrolled the hostility ramped up, with both teams trading roughing minors throughout the period before a last minute fight between Brashear and Orr. Now cut to the third period – Shanahan, taking exception with Brash’s treatment of their precious Czech superstar, challenged big Donald to a little go-round. On their way to the penalty box, Aaron Ward said something to Brashear, who responded by punching Ward and getting ejected. Colton Orr then took the opportunity to greet Ovechkin with a cross-check to the face, drawing the ire of Morrisonn and Semin.

Things to Look for:
- Flashback to December, the rematch between Washington and Atlanta after a brawl-filled hockey game – no fights, no ejections, no payback, just good solid hockey.
- Flashback #2 – Buffalo-Washington, round 2 – one fight and a questionable spear by le Petit Briere.
- So after the final game of 2006, which resulted in fights and suspensions, what kind of fireworks can we look for? I’d love to say a lot, but frankly it’s probably not going to happen. On the one hand, the Rangers are still the Rangers...they’ve still got Orr and Kasparaitis, and have now added the ever-classy Mr. Avery to their stable of unstable stars. On the other, both teams are still in the playoff fight and may not want to risk two points on initiating any form of payback. I’d say the latter carries more weight for these guys.
- All predictions are pointing to a near-sellout crowd for this Saturday night tilt in downtown DC. Like all Caps-Rangers games, the crowd should be boisterous and unfortunately speckled with drunk Rangers fans. The hopefully boisterous atmosphere combined with the requisite booing of Jagr should create a bit of an advantage for the home team.
- The Caps are once again helped out by the scheduling gods, facing a Rangers team that is playing the second of back to back games. However, the first of the two games was a shutout victory at home, so they’ll be flying high – the Caps need to bring them down to earth right away by, what else? taking a lead early.
- Coming into last night’s game, the Rangers were again mired in a losing streak, something that the Caps tend to remedy. The good news? New York snapped it against Tampa. The bad news? It extends the Rangers lead in the standings over the Caps to 3 points...
- Despite snapping his 3-game pointless drought Thursday night against LA, Ovechkin simply hasn’t looked like Ovechkin lately. His line was effective in the win but he was not, again finding himself the victim of a defensive shadow. However – the Rangers blueline is simply not as scary as those of the teams Ovie has faced over the last week. I have no doubt that he’ll be able to skate circles around good ol’ Marek and the boys. Look for him to find the back of the net once more, maybe a few times.

- Last night the Rangers did something the Caps have been trying to achieve all season - they got almost all secondary scoring. Hollweg and Orr, not exactly known for their offensive moves as much as for their general offensiveness, each scored their first career goals. Avery rounded out the gruesome threesome with his first New York goal. Wonder when his first New York dive will surface...
- After going 0 for 4 on the power play in their last game and 0 for 15 in their last four games, Hanlon has finally promised some tweaks to the system. It looks like Semin will mercifully be taken off the point, with Zubie and Heward along the boards, Clark in front of the net, and Ovie doing whatever the heck he wants to do...let’s hope it works.

Okay, kids, it’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for...the conclusion of the first ever NAME THAT PLAYER contest! Can you feel the excitement?

First of all, I have to say there were lots of great submissions. There were also a few bad ones :)and some that I’ve used before, but all entertaining nonetheless. Because of the sheer volume and high quality, I felt it was only right to augment my own creations with the contributions of you, the loyal readers. I tried to include at least one from every entrant, but if you don’t see your name this time around, have no fear – I feel another contest coming on in the near future, stay tuned.

So without further ado, I present your Nickname Champion...

Boyd “Muffin” Gordon, submitted by the Peerless Prognosticator!

This entry wins the prize for being creative yet slightly obscure, plus having great word of mouth – I had at least three people mention it to me along with their own entries. Great job as usual, Peerless! Fabulous prize to follow (as soon as I’ve figured out what it should be...)

And to everyone else, a hearty thanks for making this somewhat bizarre competition a rousing success! Your nicknames and mine appear below:

Possible Lineup for the Caps
Forwards:
8-Alex “Wodka Cranberry” Ovechkin, 9-Dainius “Tap-In” Zubrus, 17-Chris “Lois &” Clark
28-Alexander “Slippery On Ice” Semin, 21-Brooks “Clark's Look-a-” Laich, 14-Eric “County” Fehr

18-Matt “Princess of All Things” Pettinger, 15-Boyd “Muffin” Gordon, 20-Richard “Butt Rockets” Zednik

87-Donald “He Was Asking for It” Brashear, 16-Brian “Pop-Up” Sutherby, 27-Ben “Wrong Gloves” Clymer

Defensemen:

44-Steve “McQueen” Eminger, 55-Jeff “Charles” Schultz

23-Milan “Sea” Jurcina, 26-Shaone “Caonnery” Morrisonn

6-Jamie “Billy Goat Gruff” Heward, 52-Mike “It’s Not Easy Being” Green

Goaltenders:
1-Brent “Not-So-Magic” Johnson, 37-Olie “Piercing Glare” Kolzig


Possible Lineup for the Rangers

Forwards:
81-Marcel “Stop Calling Me Marian” Hossa, 82-Martin “Squeaky” Straka, 68-Jaromir “Hugh Jass/Puffnuts” Jagr (That was a tie...both made me laugh)

14-Brendan “Jagr’s Babysitter” Shanahan, 92-Michael “Tricky Mickey” Nylander, 16-Sean “So Obnoxious Hollywood Kicked Him Out” Avery

25-Petr “the Newest Cap-Killer” Prucha, 5-Matt “Eat Fiber for a Healthy” Cullen, 41-Jed “Farmer Boy” Ortmeyer

44-Ryan “Fixing a” Hollweg, 19-Blair “Place Your” Betts, 28-Colton “Ovie’s Personal Dentist” Orr

Defensemen:

3-Michal “Scarecrow, I Think I’ll Miss You” Roszival, 8-Marek “One Lucky Move” Malik

4-Aaron “The Mouth” Ward, 23-Karel “Rocky” Rachunek

46-Daniel “Beaver Fever” Girardi, 51-Fedor “Rootin’” Tyutin

Goaltenders:

30-Henrik “Cover Boy” Lundqvist, 80-Kevin “Two” Weekes “Notice”

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Gameday Preview Lite/Name That Player

Let's go ahead and call this what it is - an absolute must-win. Of course, the majority of the games between now and the end of the year all seem to be must-win. The Caps may not be getting help from anyone in the conference, but they certainly can't make the playoffs or even hope to contend for a spot if they don't at least start winning a few, string a couple of games together, rack up those points.

Still, this is like playing the Flyers of the Western Conference right now, albeit in slightly prettier colors. If the Caps play their game (with a little extra defense on the side per the last few games) they should take this one easily. Besides the loss of two points, a loss to a lesser opponent like this, as rare as they may be, can be demoralizing to the team...and the fans.

That being said, this is not one to overlook by any stretch of the imagination. This is one of those that the Caps can win, but underestimating their opponent could cost them dearly as the Panthers recently learned.

...7-0. I'm still laughing about that one.

You may have noticed I'm departing from my usual GDP format, no nicknames, etc. It's not laziness, I swear.

Okay, it's not just laziness.

It's simply hard to get amped up for a game like this even if I do expect a win...plus my brain decided to take a hiatus last night without informing me beforehand. Believe me, everyone's better off without the nicknames this time around. I would have resorted to such mature, relevant and thought-provoking names as Steve "Buttmunch" Eminger, and then no one's happy.

Especially not Eminger.

Saturday night's game against the Rangers is a different story. I shouldn't look past the Kings game to that one, I know it, but it's too late. I'm already excited for what I hope will be a great game, and I'll be there with what I expect to be a big and boisterous crowd.

So in honor of this season's FINAL Return of Jagr, I'm implementing the first ever...

NAME THAT PLAYER

CONTEST!

Here's how to enter:
- Send me your best nickname between now and tomorrow night, 10:00 pm EST.
- You can pick any player on the Caps or the Rangers - just be creative! Trust me, if I can do it anyone can...
- Submissions can be sent via e-mail to capsfan82 at hotmail dot com or by AIM to DCCapsChick27. [Please Note: AIM submissions will be available after 6:00 pm tonight.]
- Enter as many nicknames as you want, there's no limit.
- The best one (as selected by me, the queen of all things) will be featured in Saturday's gameday preview. The winner will also receive a fabulous prize to be determined at a later date.

So there you have it - the challenge has been extended, the gauntlet thrown, the proverbial starters pistol fired...start brainstorming!

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