Monday, January 08, 2007

Happy New, er...January 8!

Every week at HLOG we are given a creative challenge – this week the lovely admins of HLOG put forth the task to all of us HLOGgers of assigning New Year’s Resolutions to our teams. I did a sampling of our roster for HLOG but decided that rather than boring all of them with the entire team, I would bore all of you instead.

Ooh, you lucky people you!

(And yes, I'm trying to get you to go check out HLOG...subtle, I know.)

Anyways, I know we’re already over a week into 2007, but better late than no one actually keeps these, so who cares when they’re made?

Kris Beech resolves to continue starting the great plays in the offensive zone, but will actually finish some of them this year.

Matt Bradley resolves to score a goal on which one of his teammates can earn an assist.

Donald Brashear resolves to only beat up those who are stupid enough to volunteer themselves.

Chris Clark resolves to keep all his remaining teeth.

Ben Clymer resolves to return to his form of a season ago. He also resolves to quarantine himself the next time he gets the stomach flu from hell.

Steve Eminger resolves to ignore the nay-sayers and use his newfound confidence to build on his recent successes.

John Erskine resolves to get healthy and resume his midget-thumping ways.

Boyd Gordon resolves to become the most underrated player in the league (oh, wait...)

Mike Green resolves to limit his dumb penalties per game to one.

Jamie Heward resolves to remain scar-free in 2007.

Brent Johnson resolves to limit his impersonation of Olie to making spectacular saves and avoid the temper tantrums. Goalie sticks must be pretty expensive.

Jakub Klepis resolves to return to Hershey. (Sorry, Jakie – you need at least another year to bake before you’re done.)

Olaf Kolzig resolves to create a magic youth potion that will allow him to stay our starting goaltender until at least 2020, or until the Caps win the Stanley Cup...whichever comes first.

Brooks Laich resolves to score 10 goals this season and start to earn the respect of people outside the beltway...because we all already know how awesome he is!

Shaone Morrisonn resolves to cut back on the kissing. Aw, Mo, you old Casanova...

Bryan Muir resolves to be the funniest guy in the Hershey Bears locker room.

Lawrence Nycholat resolves to make his roster spot a permanent one, passing on the captaincy in Hershey to Bryan Muir.

Alex Ovechkin resolves to score a hat trick in Buffalo in March en route to a Caps win, after dealing out a huge, clean, open-ice hit on one Ms. Danielle Briere. He also resolves to steal the scoring title out from under Crosby's nose.

Matt Pettinger resolves to start scoring again. Period.

Brian Pothier resolves to keep shooting from the point. One of them has to go in eventually, right?

Alexander Semin resolves to stop being so lazy with the puck in his own zone...and in the neutral zone...and in the offensive zone. He also resolves to resign as the Russian Diving Team Captain.

Brian Sutherby resolves to get two Gordie Howe hat tricks before the end of the season.

Richard Zednik resolves to avoid a third trip to injured reserve (hey, it could happen!)

Dainius Zubrus resolves to actually hit the gaping, yawning, wide-open net with that perfectly placed pass from Ovechkin/Clark/Pothier/etc.

Glen Hanlon resolves to stop putting Chris Clark out for the shootout.

The Whole Team resolves to make the playoffs. Seriously. I miss the white pom-poms and the sold out arena! They don’t have to get past the first round, just make it interesting...

...unless of course they are somehow paired up with the Penguins in the first round, in which case they must win. Otherwise I fear for my sanity.


Jordi said...

What if Ollie the goalie gets all old and Belfour?

CapsChick said...

No, you don't understand. He's not allowed to get old. EVER!!