Everything I Ever Needed to Know...

...I learned from watching hockey:

Closing one nostril and blowing out the other is a perfectly acceptable means of clearing your sinuses • Justice isn’t blind - referees are. • I really do want to drive a zamboni! • When yelled at an opposing player, “XXX, you SUCK!” is an insult. When yelled at your own player, it’s a term of endearment. • Girls like hockey, too • It’s not a mullet, it’s hockey hair...and it’s damn sexy • No one likes a tattletale. • Mascots are just adults in goofy costumes trying to eat people’s heads – and that’s why they’re scary • The good old hockey game is the best game you can name...and the best game you can name is the good old hockey game • Communal water bottles = flu epidemic • It’s a hook, but it’s a dive too • $8 beer tastes as crappy as the kind you can get for $2 at the grocery store, but you’ll never admit it. • There are only two kinds of cups that matter...and neither should be run through the dishwasher • Teeth are overrated • Fighting is a perfectly legitimate means of discussing the issues of the day...unless you’re in the stands. • Fear the visor • It’s always the other guy’s fault • Kansas City would make an excellent home for a hockey team • You can never have too many goaltenders, defensemen, or bloggers • Stay inside the trapezoid • There is nothing cuter than a kid in goalie equipment • The only good thing about having low attendance is that you have somewhere to put your coats • There is no better trophy than the Stanley Cup.

Happy Friday!