Quick update on a few former Caps - Jiri Novotny signs with the Blue Jackets for two years and Dainius Zubrus signs for six years with the Devils. Fascinating.
Oh, and if you're keeping track of all parts to that controversial trade...Timo Helbling remains teamless. Even more fascinating.
More later...
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
Jiri It for Columbus
Monday, July 02, 2007
Michael Michael Motorcycle
Okay. Whew. Done jumping around and ready to look at this signing from a calm, collected point of view.
Oh, who am I kidding?? I'm still giddy as a schoolgirl because Nylander is back!
I know there are people out there saying he's not as good without Jagr or he's overpaid at $5 million plus per year...and those people can stuff it. Because in his two years here and in the years since I never saw anyone who could puckhandle around five opposition players and a goalie the way he could. It was a thing of beauty, something truly breathtaking to behold.
Now picture that dangling ability. Combined with the perfect pass. Landing on the stick of Ovechkin. Uh...I may need to start jumping around again.
But seriously, say what you will about Michael's age or his production being an outgrowth of playing on a line with Jagr. Ovechkin will always beat out Jagr in my book, and I can't wait to see the production from both of these guys once they join forces.
It will be something to see, I assure you.
Lost Players Find Homes
Day 1 of the "Free Agent Frenzy" has come and gone, and we've all had time to process the moves that were made or not made as the case may be around the NHL.
Some thoughts...
- Let's deal with the biggest issue on everyone's mind - no, we didn't sign Gomez or the gruesome twosome from Buffalo. Uh...did people actually think we were going to? The prices and length of term for those three guys who, I'm sorry, are grossly overrated, would have put the Caps in a financial and contractual bind and prevented them from moving forward with extensions for our youngsters in the coming years. They're good players, sure. Are they worth $6-7 million a year until the end of time? Absolutely not.
What's more, we all knew those were the kinds of dollars and contract lengths being tossed around for any one of those centers, and had we signed any of them there would have been cries of "overpaid!" coming from every corner of CapsNation. Now I'm well aware that I've repeated time and time again how much I love Chris Drury and wanted him here. But not for five years at just over $7 million a year, no thank you. And now that he's donning the hated blueshirt, my love and respect for him has just taken a serious hit. Sorry, Chris, but you can't be the heart and soul player for a team that has neither heart nor soul. Good luck with Satan Jagr...
- As always I took a spin around the Caps online world to get a feel for the verdict on yesterday's action, and while I was pretty impressed (and frankly surprised) with how positive many people seemed to be, to the rest of you I have to say one thing: quit your whining. Look around at the deals being made all day yesterday, huge dollar amounts flying left and right, lifetime contracts being doled out...then look at the fantastic job that GMGM did.
He got us a puck-moving defenseman who can, wait for it, quarterback the power play. He locked him up for four years at $3.5 million per year, maybe a tad overpaying but definitely low considering the market. Maybe not a number one defenseman, but still top four and all in all a good pickup. Then he went out and got a guy who has played with Ovechkin, who put up career numbers last year, who at just 30 is still in his prime, and who can fill the need for a skilled right winger. Price tag? Two years, $2.5 million. Voila.
That's filling two holes that needed to be filled with relatively little risk involved, particularly with Kozlov. If either doesn't work out, a 2 or 4 year deal is much easier to move than a 6-8 year contract...we know that all too well. So that's $6 million tied up in two pretty decent players, leaving tons of cash left over to go after one sexy center, whoever that may be...I know who I want.
- Back to the Poti deal - this is a guy that I actually wanted to see here the last time he was available and the more I think about it the better I feel about this signing. People are complaining that he's sometimes prone to defensive mistakes. Guess what? He wasn't brought in to be a Scott Stevens or even a Brendan Witt. He was brought in to do exactly what he does, play the point, boost the offense, and occasionally shut down the other team's scoring.
The organization has quite a few youngsters who will, in time, fill that stay at home d-man position. Jeff Schultz leaps immediately to mind, as does Shaone Morrisonn. Big bodies, young players who will grow into their role, and the only way to let them do that is to actually give them experience doing just that. It may continue to be a little bumpy along the way, but let's face it - how much worse could it really be? And in the meantime you get a guy with playoff experience, a guy who knows a few of his new teammates, a guy who can pick up some badly needed points on the power play...I say well done, McPhee.
- The Rangers are really bugging the crap out of me, I'll say it right now. It's not that I thought Drury or Gomez would come here because I honestly didn't, as I mentioned before. It's the sheer audacity they have in resuming the game I like to call "New York big bucks franchise tries to buy a championship" (See Steinbrenner, George.) Last season I found myself occasionally praising the team I loathed for getting away from all that crap and trying to build through the draft and acquisitions based more on character and ability than on name alone (around Jagr, sure, but still...) Flash forward to yesterday: they sign Drury and Gomez, the two biggest names of the UFA frenzy. They're going to lose Nylander, they just lost Ortmeyer...and they're back to square one. Of course, they still don't have any defense to back up their "firepower", so at least we can hang on to that lovely thought.
- What the hell are the Flyers doing? I'm no expert in the ways of building a winning team, but to me it doesn't seem wise to lock up a handful of second-tier players to huge long-term contracts the year after your worst season in franchise history. To me this looks like the desperate act of a franchise trying to quickly win back their fans. Newsflash to Snider and Holmgren: Philly fans are fickle. Sure, the trades and signings that got done yesterday may make the Flyers an infinitely better team...it could also blow up in their face. As a former division rival, am I the only one who is hoping it's the latter? If that makes me a bad person, I don't care. Too many long nights surrounded by fans in orange and black will make a person bitter.
(I will say that I do like the idea of Briere going somewhere I already hate - makes it easier to continue my own personal loathing of the evil little hobbit.)
- Winners of the first day: Colorado. Wow. Locking up Smyth and Hannan (who went for a lot less than I thought he would) augments what already was a pretty decent team...hey, any team that can make Andrew Brunette into a consistent scorer gets my vote. With Joe Sakic continuing to produce and lead in a way that only he can and now these two new additions, this Avs team is going to look pretty darn scary come the fall.
- Bizarre Award: Pittsburgh. They've already locked up their geriatric duo, Roberts and Recchi. So what's next? Go find a 35 year old defenseman whose best days are behind him to...to what? Increase the average age in the locker room? Okay, sure. Then they pick up Petr Sykora (you know, the "good" one), who has never really lived up to the hype that surrounds him. Just ask Devils fans. Throw in the addition of a new backup goalie after spending this year praising the hell out of Thibault's performance, and rightly so, and you've got one strange, strange day on the market for the Pens.
- The Caps really were the best team in the division at improving their roster after their moves yesterday. Granted, they had more work to do than the other four teams who all either made the playoffs or really sat just on the cusp at the end of last season, but still. No Cup winner out of the Southeast Division this season? What's that all about? Let's take a brief gander around the Southeast:
- Tampa: Signed Michel Ouellet to a two-year deal. Respectable point totals, but the guy couldn't score consistently on a line with Sidney Crosby. Please. I may not like Sid the Kid very much but I hear he's a pretty decent passer...
- Carolina: Agreed to a two-year deal with Jeff Hamilton. Again, I'll say...who?
- Atlanta: Signed Eric Perrin, formerly of the Bolts, to a two-year deal. Not necessarily a bad signing, just kind of...meh. Signed Todd White to a four-year deal. Again, not necessarily bad, just...meh. And they lost their silver bullet, Jon Sim, to free agency. Oops.
- Florida: Signed Richard Zednik (2 years), Brett McLean (3 years) and Radek Dvorak (2 years). I'm sorry, I do love him, but Zed? Suckers. The other two are space-fillers at best, and with Bertuzzi and Roberts departing at the deadline they have very little grit. Of course they did swing that Vokoun deal at the draft, which fills a very urgent need in net and signals the end of Eddie "the Balding Eagle" Belfour's reign of terror, so that's an upgrade.
So now we sit and wait for the rest of the UFAs to go their separate ways, with many eyes suddenly and bizarrely on the Michael Nylander situation but also focused on *shudder* Alexei Yashin. The Caps are still looking for a top line center and I'll bet GMGM has been very busy today trying to lock one up as soon as possible...stay tuned.
Update: Per Japers' Rink (and courtesy of an alert commenter) it looks like my Nylander dream, like so many of my Caps-related dreams, has come crashing back to earth with a resounding thud. A second radio station is claiming Nylander has signed a 4 year deal with the Oilers. No confirmation from TSN as yet, but this is twice now that we're hearing word out of Edmonton of a deal - three times and I say we move on to...*sigh*...Yashin. I guess. Sure.
Sunday, July 01, 2007
Just An Idea...
I'm just going to throw this out there as an idea, see how it sounds: Ovechkin on the left wing, Nylander at center, and Kozlov on the right wing.
Hmm, rolls right off the fingertips, doesn't it? That's some scary-good puck handling, playmaking ability on your top line. And the good news is, we've already got two of the three parts...
Come on, GMGM, git 'er done!
(In other news, Caps fans should rejoice - Jon Sim has officially left the Southeast Division! He just signed a 3-year deal with the Islanders, meaning we only have to see him 4 times a year now. Oh, say it softly, it sounds like singing...)
Bodies Flying Everywhere
I don't think I have any Rangers' fans who read what I write on a regular basis, so I feel pretty comfortable in saying this:
I hate the New York Rangers. Hate. Despise. Loathe. And now? Fear.
How is it fair that they pick up Gomez AND Drury? Grr. GRRR.
...rant complete.
The Caps made a move while I was ranting about the Rangers, signing Viktor Kozlov to a two year, $5 million deal. To me this is a good pick up and not a completely surprising one - he's made it clear that he would like to play with Ovechkin and Semin, he's cheaper than the ridiculously overpriced centers that flooded the market this offseason, and at 32 years old still has some good years left.
He also is coming off a career year in goals, a number that can only go up when playing on the same line with Ovechkin. +12 on a defensively suspect Isles team isn't bad, either, and a 2-year deal is relatively low risk considering some of these long-term deals being handed out (8 years for Briere w/ a no trade clause? WHAT?)
Good day so far for GMGM...
Let the Madness Begin
Here's the scoop - the free agent "frenzy" kicks off in exactly two hours. There are rumblings that this could be quite the crazy, action-packed day. Throughout the day I'll be taking my Red Bull and PowerBars, doing my best to update the most recent signings and roster moves here, but I'm sure in the meantime everyone has something to say.
So here in the Cheap Seats I'm taking a page from my superior colleague and kicking off an open thread to discuss what you want, when you want. I know its Sunday and most people have lives, but if you're kicking around waiting for the contract news to trickle in like me and you stumble through here, feel free to make your voice heard.
- Who do you want to see in the red, white and blue?
- Which signing would make you rip out your hair?
- What team will be the most active? How about the least active?
- Who do you (realistically) think the Caps (or your favorite team) will bring in?
- Will Gilligan ever get off that damn island?
Discuss...
Update: Pascal Dupuis signs 1 year, $880K contract w/ Atlanta; Joe Thornton signs 3-year contract extension w/ San Jose
(Mental) Update: For some reason I have that Tom Petty song running on a loop through my head...you know, "The waiting is the hardest part / Every day you see one more card / You take it on faith, you take it to the heart / The waiting is the hardest part..."
Update: Iginla is on the verge of signing a long-term contract with Calgary, reported to keep him there through either 2010-11 or 2011-12. As you all know Calgary is my third team (anyone keeping track of how many there are? I've lost count), so as a sort-of Flames fan I say YAY! That was one of the issues facing Calgary next year at this time - glad to see they got Iggy tied up; he's definitely the heart and soul of that Flames team.
Update: Todd White signs with the Thrashers, 4 years at just over $2 million/year. And may I just say...Todd who? Big, exciting day so far, folks.
Update: The excitement continues as RFA Ryan Whitney has agreed to a contract extension w/ the Penguins, terms as yet unannounced. Woo.
Update: The Caps have signed Tom Poti to a 4 year, $3.5 mil/year deal. Huh. Not sure how I feel about that, although it adds veteran presence to the blueline and gives us a stay at home d-man...more later after I've processed.
Update: Florida has signed Brett Mclean to a 3-year deal and Richard Zednik to a 2-year deal, thus continuing a long line of confusing moves by the kitty cats.
Update Mathieu Schneider has signed a 2-yr, $11.25 million deal with the Ducks - looks like Niedermeyer is hanging them up, although I don't know the value of overpaying someone just as old and not as skilled to take his place...
Update: I'm hearing (unconfirmed) rumblings that Briere is officially a Flyer and Gomez has signed with the Rangers...updates to come, stay tuned. Update to the update, per TSN.ca: Daniel Briere has signed with the Philadelphia Flyers for eight years and $52 million. The deal includes a no movement clause.
Update: Calgary signs defenceman Cory Sarich to a five year, $18 million deal. Good upgrade for a team that will probably lose Hamrlik to free agency in the next few days.
Update: (coming fast and furious now, eh?) Brian Rafalski agrees to a five year, $30 million contract with the Detroit Red Wings.
Update: Forward Yanic Perreault agrees to terms with the Chicago Blackhawks on a one-year, $1.5 million contract. Poor Yanic...not really sure why he keeps bouncing around so much, he's always been a favorite of mine. Can you imagine him here? Picture 82 games of Locker calling him "No Panic Yanic". Too bad.
Update: A quick check of Tom Poti's Wikipedia entry informs us that he has a number of assorted allergies, including chocolate, peanuts and MSG. Huh. MSG? Didn't he used to play for the Rangers at Madison Square Garden? (Oh, I crack myself up...). He's also a Yankees fan...wonder what Clark will think about that!
Update: (More semi-interesting deals)
- The Tampa Bay Lightning have signed right winger Michel Ouellet to a two-year deal worth $1.2 and $1.3 million. [At least he didn't come to the Caps.]
- The Carolina Hurricanes agree to a two-year contract worth $800,000 per year with forward Jeff Hamilton. [Who?]
- Florida Panthers have signed forward Radek Dvorak to a two-year contract. [Panthers have been busy the last few days, that doesn't bode well if any of their dealings pan out...this division is getting a little scarier.]
- The Boston Bruins have signed free-agent right winger Shawn Thornton to a multi-year contract. [Another bizarre and uninteresting Boston pick-up, along with Manny Fernandez last night.]
Update: The Atlanta Thrashers have signed forward Eric Perrin to a two year deal worth $1.5 million. The Southeast shuffle continues.
Okay, I'm out. For updated free agent signings check some of the other blogs or the source everyone is already using, TSN.ca's real time Free Agent Tracker. If the Caps do anything else I'm sure I'll be back on to discuss it - if they sign Yashin, you can count on it.
Saturday, June 30, 2007
This One's a Beaut, Eh?
Tomorrow at 12:01 P.M. EST hunting season for free agents officially opens. GMs are loading up the trucks with ammunition (new practice facilities, hot young superstars) and sustenance (a hefty increase in the salary cap to over $50 million), prepared to wait in the tall weeds for that trophy to hang over their mantle.
...okay, I have to stop the hunting metaphor there, because...ick.
It is, next to trade deadline day, one of the biggest personnel movement days of the year in the NHL. The days leading up to it are filled with whirlwind predictions and frantic last minute signings of players on the cusp of becoming UFAs. Undoubtedly the decisions made tomorrow and over the next few days will be picked apart by so-called "experts" and armchair GMs alike - the reality is only time will tell which signings are blockbuster deals and which ones are busts.
But whether you buy into the NHL spin of this year's pool being extremely deep or the more pessimistic (and likely more realistic) point of view of SI's Allan Muir, it's sure to be entertainment. Will Tampa finally get the goaltender who won't become a liability...or a scapegoat? Can the Ducks hold onto the core of their Cup-winning roster? How many Buffalo fans will leap off their roofs as Drury and Briere hightail it out of town?
And most importantly here in DC, will the Caps address the few gaping holes in their lineup that everyone knows are there? If you read the pundits, of course, you know that we're going to sign Daniel Briere and Brian Rafalski. No, wait - make that Scotty Gomez and Scotty Hannan. Or...hmm. How about Jeremy Roenick and Andy Sutton? (At least Mike Green's head would be safe.)
Hey, I hear Peter Bondra may be available. For a change.
The important thing to remember, something that far too many people forget this time of year, is that it's not about making a big splash necessarily. It's about making the right one. You need more than future hall-of-famers to win Stanley Cups, and the Caps aren't going to win it with one offseason of signings. Do they need to make some noise, be it by free agency or trades? Absolutely. Will I weep into my pillow if they don't sign a Chris Drury or a Scott Hannan? No.
Hell, I'll take a Michael Nylander and a Tom Preissing and sleep well - they're not sexy names compared to some of the others but they're hard-working, character guys with, get this...skill. I'm sold.
And don't be scared off by the lack of rumblings in the rumor mill involving the Caps. If you know this team and this organization at all you know that GMGM keeps his dealings close to the vest, revealing nothing until he has to. Maybe he should have been in charge of the uniform unveiling...--------------------
Of course, let us not forget what July 1 also represents - Canada Day! On July 1, 1867 the provinces of Nova Scotia, New Brunswick, Ontario and Quebec were officially combined to form the Canadian confederation. And although complete (sort of) independence from the British crown wasn't fully achieved until 1982, it marks the beginnings of their very long path to becoming the great hockey-loving nation we know today.
So in honor of the country that took me in for four years and the province that gave me my beloved Habs, let's all join in together with the Canadian national anthem the way it's meant to be sung, en français and in English:
O Canada!
Terre de nos aïeux,
Ton front est ceint de fleurons glorieux!
Car ton bras sait porter l'épée
Il sait porter la croix!
Ton histoire est une épopée
Ton histoire est une épopée
Des plus brillants exploits.
God keep our land
Glorious and free
Glorious and free
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee!
HAPPY (kind of) BIRTHDAY, CANADA!
Friday, June 29, 2007
Offseason Activity
It's summer. It's hot. July 1 is still two days away. It kind of makes you want to jump off a building, doesn't it?
Well, fear not, loyal readers! Straight from the Cheap Seats, here are:
64 Things to Do During the Offseason
1. Watch “The Goal” over and over on YouTube until you’ve memorized Joe B.’s call word for word, ending with “Simply sensational!” Perform it at family gatherings without being asked.2. Reenact “The Goal” on the tiled floor of your kitchen or bathroom.
3. Create miniature versions of each of the Capitals and set up a diorama scene depicting your favorite game from this past season. Bonus points if you make a tiny flying Briere suspended in mid-air...oh, CapsChick, no. That crosses the line into tasteless. (Or maybe hilarious? Come on, people, he was fine! You know I wouldn’t say it if he’d been really badly hurt...)
4. Watch baseball. No, really.
5. Watch soccer. No, not really.
6. Make a Sidney Crosby voodoo doll and think of fun places to stick the pins.
7. Go into downtown DC and pretend you’re a tourist – add a fanny pack and a confused expression while staring at the metro map for extra realism.
8. Buy an air horn and sit on your couch, alternating three blasts with shouts of “Let’s Go Caps!” (The neighbors will LOVE you!)
9. Grow a mullet.
10. Play the Comcast Sportsnet SportsNite Summer Drinking Game (patent pending):- take a drink if one of the anchors stumbles over their lines or mispronounces a local athlete’s name
- take one drink if they show a Nats player dropping the ball; take two drinks if it’s Ryan Zimmerman
- chug a beer every time they show a 300 lb football player running around in the 100 degree heat
- chug a six-pack if he passes out
- do a shot of tequila if they show Manny Acta looking like he’s going to cry
- down a bottle of vodka if Teddy Roosevelt wins the “Running of the Presidents”
- do three baby shots whenever they show or make reference to Tiger Woods’ wife and/or new baby
- throw the bottle at the TV if they make some joke about calling the kid "Tigger"
- drop a Jager bomb whenever they air a ‘highlight’ of the Nats giving up more than 3 runs in an inning (proceed with caution, that one could get dangerous)
- do 5 shots whenever they show more than a 30-second clip of Mystics basketball
- do 10 shots if you recognize any of the players
- take a drink if they use the words “Orioles manager” and “fired” in the same sentence
- take a drink if they show footage of a Red Sox or Yankees game that doesn’t involve a local team; take two if it’s a Red Sox vs. Yankees game
- finish off your entire liquor supply if they talk about the Caps’ rookie camp at all
11. Watch the clip of Semin throwing the puck at the net during the Caps-Leafs game. Then do your best impression of Chad Kilger’s best impression of a whiny 5 year old.
12. Find a picture of your least favorite player and use Paint or PhotoShop to give him a pretty new look – I suggest an evening gown with matching handbag.
13. Read every post ever written in your favorite blog (*cough*A View from the Cheap Seats*cough*)
14. Come up with an ending for the following joke: Ovechkin, Crosby and Phaneuf walk into a bar...
15. Paint the Caps’ new logo all over your car/house then ask people to guess what team you root for.
16. Perfect the dying art of origami.
17. Surround yourself with a dozen empty folding chairs and throw on a tape of a Caps’ game. Ah, just like being there, isn’t it?
18. Enter a high dive competition under the name “Sidney Crosby”.
19. Watch Washington Post Live. NO, NOT REALLY.
20. Create paper dolls of the unrestricted free agents and dress them up in little jerseys as they sign with new teams.
21. Travel to the small Canadian towns where your favorite Caps live and knock on everyone’s door asking if they are Capitals fans.
22. Stage a Chris Chelios’ lookalike contest among the neighborhood bulldogs and pugs. Winner gets a liver snap and a contract extension.
23. Go to the race track and bet on the #8 horse in every race.
24. Make up a dirty version of Stompin’ Tom Connors’ “The Good Old Hockey Game”
25. Do your own “Slapjack” stunt, complete with padded eagle costume.
26. Search for the meaning of life using only Google.
27. Go to a hotel and order everything on the room service menu. Then when it arrives, clench your fists and say “OVECHKIN!”
Repeat at your own risk.28. Walk the streets of Buffalo wearing a Chris Neil jersey...just to see what happens.
29. Set up a silent vigil outside Verizon Center with flowers, candles, and a blown-up picture of Kris Beech.
30. Call up Kansas City’s Ticketmaster outlet and ask for 10 tickets to the next KC Penguins game.
31. Go to a Nats game, sit behind home plate, and yell out “Nice save, Olie!” every time Brian Schneider blocks a wild pitch.32. Go to a Mystics game, sit courtside, and yell out “Put the biscuit in the basket!” every time someone shoots the ball.
33. Write Ted hundreds of e-mails a day begging him to switch the jerseys back to black...just for fun.
34. Go ice skating and yell out “toe pick!” whenever someone falls.
35. Go to a friends’ birthday party in spandex underclothes and try to light their birthday candles with a blowtorch.
36. Order nothing but "wodka" drinks at your local bar...pronouncing it "wodka" every time.
37. Watch major league lacrosse to hear Joe B.’s dulcet tones. (I wonder if anyone “scampers into the zone” in lacrosse?)
38. Visit a sports bar and complain loudly about the lack of hockey being shown on the TV screens.
39. Walk down the street with a hockey stick and spear people in the groin; if you get stopped by the police, simply point out that Briere does it all the time without punishment.
40. Spend a night in jail.
41. Get on a bus or the metro during rush hour and wait until its really quiet, then randomly yell out “Hat trick, Alexander Semin!” and see who stares.
42. Go to a children’s soccer team and recite the speech from ‘Miracle’ to the team that is losing. If that doesn’t work, try the speech from ‘Animal House’.
43. Rearrange the shelves at your grocery store so that the peanut butter and cookies are all on the top shelf.
44. Make a life-size replica of your favorite player out of Popsicle sticks. Add glitter and macaroni for extra flare.
45. Give in to the NHL’s subliminal messages and just build that damn shrine to Sidney Crosby already.
46. Watch any hockey game from last season and count the number of phrases that could double as dirty euphemisms.47. Sit in the corner for the rest of the evening after realizing you spent 2+ hours thinking only of dirty euphemisms.
48. Dig up your old Caps’ music videos from the late ‘80s and sing along at the top of your lungs. (Come on, you know the words: “Double trouble, that’s what we’ve got...what are we gonna do? Double trouble, that’s what we’ve got; the Capitals red white and blue.”)
49. Start referring to your cubicle at work as the “sin bin”. Stand up occasionally and bang on the wall, hurling insults at your boss as they walk by.
50. Look for a new job.
51. Host a “Mighty Ducks” trilogy marathon, joining in with the chants of “Quack, quack, quack” with full enthusiasm. If anyone is left standing, follow it up with a bonus showing of “Youngblood”.
52. Go to the beach. What, you think they all have to be insane? It’s summer, go to the beach!
53. Walk around for an entire day saying nothing but “my name is Inigo Montoya...you killed my father...prepare to die” over and over and over. And over and over. And over. Throw in the occasional “aaaaaaaaas yooooooooou wiiiiiiiiish” just to throw people off.
54. Play 6 degrees of separation using your favorite hockey players. Bonus if you can get from Mike Eagles to Shane Doan in less than 6 steps...or at all.
55. Hold a “Blades of Steel” tournament and award the winner a tiny replica Stanley Cup, which they must then parade through the streets.56. Cut out real estate listings in the Pittsburgh area and mail them to Sidney Crosby.
57. Stop random people on the street and ask them, “Do you know #8?”
58. Send Chris Drury a free, one-way plane ticket to Washington, DC everyday until he gives in. Include a note offering him the use of your couch until he finds a place to live.
59. Clean your house from top to bottom using your old Jagr jersey as a dust rag.
60. Go to an ice cream parlor and ask for free samples of every flavor, then leave without buying any.
61. Finally rent and watch Citizen Kane.
62. Understand why you had never rented and watched Citizen Kane after falling asleep halfway through and waking up with a cheese doodle stuck to your face.
63. Teach your two-year-old child/cousin/niece/nephew/etc. to clap whenever you say “Ovechkin”...or to boo whenever you say “Jagr”.
64. Brainstorm fun new names for potential lines next year. For example, in an alternate universe you could have the Fleischmann-Steckel-Ovechkin line...or as I call it, the Steck O’ Butter line. Thank you, folks, I’ll be here all week! Try the veal.
[Okay, yes - Fleischmann's is a brand of margarine, not butter but come on - Steck O' Margarine just doesn't sound as good.]
Extra Cheap Seats challenge: if you actually do any of these things, film it, stick it on YouTube and send me an e-mail so I can share it...I'm always happy to provide a forum for people making asses of themselves.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Obscurity, Thy Name is Hockey 4
The question came up earlier today as to where I got these random quotes. Some of them have been contributed by friendly readers (and are attributed as such) but mostly it is from a lifetime of watching too much TV and too many movies...and getting excited whenever the briefest mention of hockey comes up. After that its just a matter of tracking down the exact quote using whatever information I can remember and our good friend Google. Ah, the inner workings of a blogger's life - thrilling, no?
Here we go - I'll ease you in with a pretty simple one, entry #5:
Man: Oh my God! A penalty shot with only four seconds left. It's your child versus mine! The winner will be showered with praise; the loser will be taunted and booed until my throat is sore!
Now here's the toughie - if anyone knows it, I'll be shocked. I'm even using two quotes from the same scene just to help you out, but I don't know that it will. Oh, and good luck using Google on this one...I've checked, if it's on there it's buried deep in the vastness of the interweb. So there.
#1: Perfect? It’s a hockey game.
#2: It’ll be fun. There’ll be cheerleaders and clowns, people doing the wave.
#1: You have no idea what a hockey game is, do you?
Girl A: It’s cold in here.
Girl B: It’s the ice.
Girl A: Oh my God, there really is ice. Cool.
Girl B: What are you doing here?
Girl A: I’m hockeying.
Girl B: That’s not a word.
Give it your best shot - good luck!
Scotty S. Joins the Best
It's official - Scott Stevens will join fellow distinguished candidates Al MacInnis, Mark Messier and Ron Francis in the Hockey Hall of Fame November 12. For those of us who watched him develop into one of the league's best defenseman here in Washington, there was never any doubt.
Stevens may have hoisted the Cup with New Jersey, but I will always remember him wearing the Capitals' jersey first, whether he was lifting the crowd out of their seats with yet another bone-rattling check at center ice or smiling down at me from my Donald Duck orange juice growth poster.
Ah, memories.
Nothing more I can really say about Scotty that isn't put more eloquently by Mike Vogel...so congrats, Scott. It is a well-deserved honor to be sure!
Obscurity, Thy Name is Hockey 3
(Slightly belated) "Name That Obscure Hockey Reference" time, kiddies...which henceforth will be known as NTOHR, because that title is too long and I'm too lazy.
We'll kick today's contest off with entry #3 (provided by OFB's own OrderedChaos):
Three men are playing a hockey video game...
Man 1: I wish they still had fights in this game so I could bitch-slap Wayne.
Man 2: What? They don't have fighting anymore?
Man 1: Doesn't that suck?
Man 2: Why'd they get rid of the fighting? It was the best part of the old version.
Man 3: I think kids were hittin' each other or somethin', man.
Man 1: Yeah, but you know what Smitty*? You can make their heads bleed in this one.
Man 2: Make somebody's head bleed.
Man 3: C'mon man, we’re in the playoffs.
*Name changed
Here's entry #4 - again, look for clues in the quote as to location and other hints that may help you narrow it down. And yes, I'm aware that they're picking on the Capitals. The one time they're mentioned in a pop culture reference and that's how they've been portrayed. Yay.
Man 1: You guys go out?
Man 2: John* had Capitals tickets.
Man 1: Good game?
Man 2: You know what I'd do if I... No, it wasn't. You know what I'd do if I owned a hockey team? I'd hire a sumo wrestler. I'd give him a uniform, transportation, 500 bucks a week to sit in the goal, eat a ham sandwich, and enjoy the game. My team would never get scored on.
Man 1: Your team would get scored on constantly.
Man 2: Maybe, but we'd sell a few tickets.
Man 1: Yeah, 'cause sumo wrestling sells out all the time in big hockey towns.
Man 2: My idea's totally unviable?
Man 1: Well, you're a Democrat. It's a pretty big club.
*Name changed
If you know both, great - if you know one, great. We continue until someone correctly identifies both (don't forget to identify the characters, too), so take your best shot!
I'll tell you, these get harder every day. The next round goes up at 8:23 pm EST tonight and I assure you its a toughie, so get those thinking caps on!
I Heart the Caps
It’s funny, I was just about to fire off a nasty e-mail to all of my blogger playoff pool participants who have yet to pay up...when I realized I hadn’t even written my love letter to the Caps. Oops. Now some would say that this entire blog is a giant love letter to the Caps sprayed with perfume and sealed with a kiss, and should therefore serve as adequate payment for falling short in my own pool. I’m guessing those people aren’t among the others who are stuck writing schmaltzy stuff about a team they pay little or no attention to...so here goes.
I was born into this crazy, mixed-up world of Caps fanaticism, a product of a hockey-mad father whose devotion to this team of ne’er-do-wells is practically etched in the annals of Washington sports history. Legend has it that while in the womb I kicked to the strains of “Let’s Go Caps”; that I was born already wearing a tiny Caps jersey; that my first words were “what the Caps really need is a good scoring-line center”...
...but I digress.
It’s not just a product of my raising that has me writing innocuous rants about a hockey team at two in the morning – after all, my younger sister hasn't known a player's name since Joe Reekie wore the eagle and my older sister, while a thoroughly passionate Caps fan in her own right, still maintains some semblance of normalcy in her fandom. It is that normalcy, that sanity, that seems to have skipped over me altogether and left me to pour out my hockey-related hopes and dreams here day after day amid the indifferent masses of our nation’s capital.
Washington, DC is not a traditional sports town. You have in this city of roughly 600,000 people residents from up and down the east coast, across the country, around the world (and approximately 95% of the city of Pittsburgh). With that transience comes a lack of unity, particularly when it comes to sports. To be a product of the DC area is a rarity; to be a lifelong fan of a local sports team, even more so. Throw in hockey fan to that equation and you might as well be one of those stuffed dodo birds at the Smithsonian.
It’s never fazed me, though. Sure, I get the funny looks and I’ve heard the knee-slappers about going to a boxing match and seeing a hockey game break out (ha...ha.). But it doesn’t matter. Because something about this team has gotten under my skin. I don’t just mean this particular crop of youngsters who will skate out onto the ice in their shiny new threads come October; I mean the entire team – the history, the heartache, the hope, all of it. I can’t shake it, and I have no desire to do so.
My earliest memories are of Rod Langway, Scott Stevens, Mike Ridley, Mike Gartner, and Bengt Gustafsson; of white pom-poms with plastic handles and organ music; of pizza goals and the Patrick Division. Of playoff hopes and playoff losses. Of lying on my stomach in front of the TV, watching in awe as my team took the ice, knowing that they couldn’t lose while I watched...no matter how many times they did.
There is something special about a franchise that can frustrate you to the point of tearing out your hair then in one fell swoop suck you right back in again. It is an indefinable quality that brings us back year after year, but “it” is there. It’s how the team survived those disastrous first few years of existence. It’s how they fill the arena on opening day despite the heartbreaking end to the previous season just a few months before. It is the downfall of a team one year, only to see it reawakened by an influx of youth and vitality the next; the departure of one superstar only to see him replaced with a brighter one.
These days it isn’t easy to be a Caps fan. There’s a lot of hurry up and wait, a lot of rebuilding and evolution and growth, a lot of talk about the future when all we want is to see the present. There are promises being made and expectations being set – and whether those expectations are realized remains to be seen. We won’t know the outcome until the puck drops in the fall, or until the final whistle blows to signal the end of another season.
But when is it ever easy to be a Caps fan? That’s not why we love this team. If we wanted to pick a winner, we’d have jumped on the Red Wings bandwagon, ridden the coattails of the Hurricanes, flown in a ‘V’ with the Ducks...but we didn’t.
Instead we stand by our team, fully aware that someday our ship will come in and victory will be that much sweeter because we earned it. We enter each year with collective amnesia, forgetting the horrors we have witnessed in the past and approaching a new season with the bright eyes of an eternal optimist. We revel in the veteran leadership of Olie Kolzig and Chris Clark, in the grit and work ethic of Matt Pettinger and Brian Sutherby, in the skill and youthful exuberance of Alex Ovechkin and Alexander Semin...and in the future hopes of Niklas Backstrom and Karl Alzner.
And we wait for another year to begin.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Obscurity, Thy Name is Hockey 2
Here we go, entry #2 in our "Name That Obscure Hockey Reference":
Man 1: Poulet passes it up to Leetch!
Man 2: Leetch spots Messier in the crease- there's the pass!
Man 1: We'll take a brief time out while Messier stops to look at some women's shoes.
Who knows it?
Hint - there are some clues in this one as to the city and the era in which this reference takes place...I don't know if that will be enough for some of you, but we'll see.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Incoming: '80s Nostalgia
It's been a few days since the Caps reverted back to their classic color scheme of red, white and blue, and after discussion ad nauseum across the hockey world the verdict on the redesign seems to be split.
Love it or hate it, however, to Caps fans the return to the vintage colors represents so much more than a nod to nostalgia.
They are the colors that a young Dale Hunter wore as he broke through the Philly defense to score the game-winning and series-winning overtime goal against the Flyers. They are the colors that Rod Langway wore when he was dubbed "the Secretary of Defense". They are the colors that sniper Peter Bondra wore when he scored his first goal as a Capital.
So to commemorate this momentous occasion the only way I know how, I figured it was time to roll out some treasured moments in Caps' history, starting with 1987-88. Enjoy.
(And sorry for the poor quality - I had to film these right off the TV, because for some reason VHS isn't compatible with the internet. Go figure.)
"Double Trouble" - a classic!
Sorry, there was just no preparing you for that. Hey, did you think it was only the Chicago Bears who made embarrassing videos in the '80s?
How about the flip side, "Out on Top"?
Way to point, boys! Keep your eye on Dale Hunter, too - he is digging this, man.
Stick around until the end for some fancy dance moves from a former captain...
Now 1988-89 saw a few more mullets, a few more pairs of tapered, stonewashed jeans, some new faces...and a fresh batch of hits. Here's newly acquired superstar and future rock star Dino Ciccarelli and the boys pretending to belt it out in "Capital Feeling":
We'll wrap up this stroll down memory lane with a catchy tune named, oddly enough, "Red, White and Blue"...
...wait a sec, was that...? No, couldn't be. At about the 2:14 mark? Yes! That mustachioed, mulleted, fresh-faced youngster singing his heart out is none other than our own goaltender, Olie Kolzig.
Ah, poor Olie. I'm betting he hoped this video would never surface - sorry, buddy. Just like tapes of celebrities, er, canoodling, embarrassing crap from the '80s will always see the light of day.
For the Trivia Lover in All of Us
Busy day, so quickie post...
First off a note to the Caps and/or the NHL - not offering the new logo on any women's apparel? Sexist. Oh, but luckily you can buy horrific pink sweatpants with the old logo on them for an exorbitant amount of money...
Now, taking a cue from my intrepid super junior reporters I'm kicking off a daily "Name That Obscure Hockey Reference" game!
We'll start with an easy one:
Man 1: Gretzky shoots!
Man 2: Oh, Gretzky is denied...choked on the open net.
If you know the reference, be the first to drop the name of the film/TV show and the names of the characters to win! (No actual prizes will be given, as is keeping with Cheap Seats' policy. We play for pride, remember?)
Check back around this time every day this week for more fun obscure hockey references from your favorite movies and shows!
Have a good obscure reference? E-mail it to me: capsfan82 (at) hotmail (dot) com. Just remember, if I use a reference you send in and you try to enter, I will know...so no cheating!
Monday, June 25, 2007
If You Love Somebody Set Them Free
As of today's 5 p.m. deadline, the Caps have tendered qualifying offers to the following players: defensemen Steve Eminger, John Erskine, Jamie Hunt and Milan Jurcina and forwards Tomas Fleischmann, Jakub Klepis, Brooks Laich, Dave Steckel and Brian Sutherby. Good to see some familiar faces sticking around, at least for now. Select players (Eminger, Erskine, Jurcina, Laich and Sutherby) have until July 5 to accept the offer or go to arbitration; everyone else must notify the club of whether the offer is accepted by July 15.
However, today also marked the end of the road for a few players, most notably Kris Beech and Jiri Novotny. Other players not given qualifying offers included goaltender Maxime Daigneault, defenseman Trevor Byrne, and forwards Jonas Johansson, Louis Robitaille, Matt Stefanishion and Joey Tenute.
Conceivably the release of Beech and Novotny frees up some space at center for Backstrom and a free agent, especially if Brooks Laich were to move back to wing like many people are predicting he will. Novotny probably won't be missed as his time here was spent being pretty much invisible, but I'll admit I'm a little sad to see Beech go. Again.
I know he was given numerous chances to make it, though, and didn't take advantage of those opportunities - so I'll wave the handkerchief with a sad tear in my eye...and throw open my arms to welcome whomever takes his place.
So long, Kris. So long, Jiri.
Hello Backstrom and...Drury? (Ha! That rhymes...)
Speaking of new additions: if you haven't already, be sure to check out the video clip of Karl Alzner's post-draft press conference. A shortened version is available on the Caps' Draft Day page, or if you get the Caps' newsletter you can view the whole 10 minute clip.
Well-spoken, funny, snappy dresser...perfect. A+ to McPhee and the Caps scouting staff on drafting mere personality alone.
Now if he really turns out to be the second coming of Lidstrom, I'll be even happier...
Bored Bored Bored
With the draft over and a week to go until July 1, there's not a whole lot to talk about other than to go over the Caps' draft picks...and for that you should probably go to someone who knows something about them or at least cares enough to research it. Instead I'm resigned to posting some random synaptic firings (but really, what else is new?):
- For some reason the lyrics to this song seem weirdly reminiscent of how Caps fans are feeling this offseason...
Don't talk of June, don't talk of fall
Don't talk at all - show me!
Never do I ever want to hear another word,
There isn't one I haven't heard.
Here we are together in what ought to be a dream;
Say one more word and I'll scream!
Don't wait until wrinkles and lines
Pop out all over my brow,
Show me now!
"Show Me" from My Fair Lady
- Here is, quite possibly, my favorite "Frozen Moment" from NHL.com that doesn't involve the Caps:
What a shock...Hasek flailing around on his back while the puck goes in over him. It just does my hockey-starved heart good to see that!
Sunday, June 24, 2007
When All Is Said and Done
As the dust settles from the 2007 NHL Draft, there are, as always, some people who think they could have done better than the man wearing the GM hat for the Caps.
As I've said many times, I know very little about this draft or any draft for that matter - but this much I know: this was, by all accounts, a weaker draft class than usual. The difference between a guy taken 15th and a guy taken 35th is not as vast as in previous years, making everything beyond the top 5 or 6 essentially a crap shoot.
I also know this - people who are complaining that GMGM made no trades for actual players should consider two things. One is the fact that no one was making trades for actual players this weekend. We had two goalies switching conferences and then...after that? Nada. The other is the fact that, although acquiring no warm bodies, GMGM wasn't completely stationary, either. The Caps made a few trades to move down in this year's draft while still managing to a) get the players they wanted and b) stockpile more picks for next year, a draft with potentially much more depth to it.
To build a successful franchise you need to create depth every year, meaning we can't just wait for our current Caps to grow into their roles and hope one Stanley Cup will tide us over, as amazing as it would be. We need a pipeline of continuous talent coming in, and if the Caps didn't see what they wanted this year I'm happy to wait until 2008 to see what else they can get.
Let's also not forget that it takes two to tango - McPhee can't simply go around to the other 29 teams and put whatever players he wants in a shopping cart. Someone else has to want to buy what we have to sell, and what they offer in return has to be a fair deal. Without having a wire tap on McPhee's phone (since none of us are close, personal friends with "President" Bush), to even assume we know what was offered and what was asked for is simply ridiculous. Who knows what kind of crazy offers were being floated, what names from our roster were being tossed around? No need to hurry into a trade just because the pundits thought there would be a lot of trades...it has to be right.
Yes, the Caps passed on Esposito. They passed on Cherepanov. They passed on Petrecki. Guess what - so did a lot of other teams. Why single out GMGM when numerous other GMs did the exact same thing? The reality is, the Caps didn't see what they wanted in any of those three players and whether or not that comes back to bite us in the ass remains to be seen. It's not like the Rangers and Penguins don't already have guys who like to score on the Caps - what's one more? And if Alzner pans out, it may not matter...imagine, a stay at home defenseman in a Caps uniform. It's a beautiful thing.
This summer is going to be about creating a team that can consistently contend for the playoffs, we all know that. Everyone, including McPhee, is aware that time is running out for GMGM to get this rebuild to pay off. Changes need to be made and results need to be seen or else you can bet we'll start shopping around for another GM come next summer. In the meantime we can only sit and utter the mantra that has been handed down through decades of Caps fandom: have a little patience, the best is yet to come.
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Draft Day: Complete
Ta....da!
(Sorry for the poor quality but my camera hates me.)
Okay, two things that are funny about this moment: - on taking his playoff experience from Hershey and applying it to the Caps' postseason hopes: "I think playing in those high pressure games helps. Each game is a learning experience and you had something different in each game. The different things I was taught and learned from each of those games can be brought into these Capitals games this year. I think just playing with different guys helped too.” “If things happen like that, we are bringing in new guys, you want them to be part of this team as quickly as possible, so that becomes part of the leadership job.” “For myself I think it went well; it’s what I expected, more media talk and all that fun stuff. But I don’t want to shy away from any of that; I’ve embraced everything and love being a captain, especially of this team. The guys were great, we had a great team. It wasn’t really tough to get everybody on the same page, it wasn’t tough to bring guys along. Everybody wanted to be part of this team and stay together so my job that way was easy.” - on the similarities between captaining a young Team USA and an equally young Caps team: Ben Clymer - on his draft day experience: “I have a funny draft story, actually. I was picked by Boston 27th and there were 26 teams [the year] I was picked. So I was the first pick not to go to the podium. So they call my name and I don’t know where to go because I’m not going to the podium so I’m standing up, looking around, I don’t know what to do. Finally some lady flags me down and brings me to the table. In hindsight it had to be hilarious, I didn’t know what to do. Everyone was probably looking at me like, geez, I’m glad we’re not you. It was a fun day but that was certainly an uncomfortable, odd part of it just not knowing where you're supposed to go." Let's not forget what this day was really about - the addition of the newest Capital, Karl Alzner. Although I know nothing about his actual skill and ability as a player, I like him already. He's very quotable and seems to be a laid-back, fun guy. For a team that values chemistry and personality so highly that is a very good sign. Plus, he likes the new jerseys (per WashingtonCaps.com): And this: So personality-wise, I'd say he's a good fit. Whether he can play at the level at which the Caps will need him to play over the coming years is another question, but its a question that hangs over the head of every single one of the newly-drafted players. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.
1) Watch as the curtain falls...right on top of their heads. Brilliant.
and
2) Check out Clymer and Schultz with their blonde moment -
Joe B.:"About face, boys..."
Ben and Jeff: "Uh...about wha-?"
Joe B.:"...turn around?"
Ben and Jeff: "Oh! Okay..."
After the unveiling the players took a few minutes to answer questions...Jeff Schultz
Chris Clark
- on new additions to the Caps:
- on his first season as captain:
“We have our core guys, 15-16 of the same guys we had last year so it makes the job even easier because we were all together and we’ve known each other and we know the system we know all the on-ice stuff it’s easier to build that way as well.”“It was very, very similar. I was one of the oldest guys on the team. I don’t feel that old and I think on other teams I wouldn’t be that old, but here and in the World Championships I was one of the older guys. But [everyone] was ready to skate, ready to listen to everything, and our coaches were great. Everyone worked really well together and we became a team very fast, and that showed on the ice, how well we played. I think we definitely had a contending team and it was just too bad to lose in a shootout like that like we did."
- on his rehab since having surgery at the end of last season:“I met with the doctors today and they said everything looked good. I think it’s one of those things where you don’t really truly find out exactly what’s going on until you’re really playing at a really high level. That’s something I’ve tried to start to do in the summer but it’s still early and I don’t want to push it. There’s no need to push it right now, so I’m going to pick up my skating a little bit more in the next two weeks after talking w/ the doctors and trainers. It feels good but I’m still hoping it’ll feel even better.”
“I think they’re awesome. I’m a big fan of these. I didn’t know there was going to be a new uniform. I love them. It goes a little bit old school here. I saw a guy in the stands a little bit earlier, he was wearing a Dino Ciccarelli jersey. It was awesome. I was just saying I think those are sweet. To go back to those is a good choice. I really like it.”
I love this, by the way. When asked whether he sensed the Caps’ interest in him based on his pre-draft interview with them:“I wasn’t sure. They caught me off guard at the end when they asked me to tell a joke and I didn’t think my joke was very good. I wasn’t sure, I thought maybe they were going to judge me on the joke. I thought it went well and I knew that there was a possibility. Whenever the teams come up that you are ranked around, your stomach starts to get a little bit antsy.”
“I love to talk. I don’t mind talking to anybody and everybody. I don’t think this makes me nervous. I have had to do it a couple times now. When I made World Juniors, those were the brightest lights I’ve ever seen in my life shining in my eyes. That kind of helped me get my feet into the waters there. I just love it. I like answering questions that people have. I have lots of questions too. I like to answer them.”
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